Monday, 30 May 2016

Mountains out of MoleHills

...Passing a construction site...
Me: "That big hole is a hill now!"
ElderChild:"I guess they turned it upside-down."


YoungerChild: "Oh look, the city dug that hole again on the corner."
Me: "It's just the right size to hold a baby alpaca."
YoungerChild: "That's... um... oddly specific..."


ElderChild: "Go buy peanuts!"
Me: "Do I look like a slave? ... Answer carefully."
ElderChild: [hesitantly] "Yyeeesss?"

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Too Young To Be Old

ElderChild walked into the kitchen.

She stopped, a few steps into the kitchen... completely bewildered.  ...Why was she there?!?

YoungerChild didn't skip a *single* beat (at all!!) and hollered "Senior Moment!" and started to giggle.

I admit... I giggled too.

Sunday, 12 October 2014

All The World's A Stage

I'm a "techie".  Short-speak for "Theatre Technician". We're the people who run lights and sound, we move props, set pieces, and microphones around on the stage.  But we do so very swiftly and clothed in black so that, while you (*sometimes*) notice us, it doesn't quite mentally register, and the production continues on rather magically.  We're literally the smoke-and-mirrors.

Tonight I have an evening "call" (tech-speak for "shift-at-work") so I simply dressed in my theatre-"blacks" (all-black-clothing) when I emerged from my shower today.  I'm not big on changing my clothes as the day progresses.  Upon seeing my attire, ElderChild played the overly-dramatic role of "Have you seen Mom?  I haven't seen her in a few hours.  Where is she? Where's mom??!" (I'm right there in the room, I'm simply wearing black clothing...).  YoungerChild joins-in with "Where's Mommy? She was here a minute ago!  Where did she go?"  ... and then husband chimes in with an annoyed tone: "Your mother is Right-There.  She's only "invisible" if she's on stage!!"

... To which YoungerChild responds "Daddy: All the World's a Stage!!"

Tuesday, 4 February 2014


YoungerChild loves rice.  In fact she loves it almost as much as she loves tomatoes.  The problem is, tho, that she feels very full very quickly when she eats rice.  I've always just assumed this is because it continues to swell in her stomach.  Now, feeling full on a small portion is fine... except when she's eaten only rice and not a single bite of the rest of her dinner.

My workaround has been to often cover the rice on her plate with a piece of aluminum foil.  It keeps her rice warm, and reminds her to eat some veggies and meat first while still holding the promise of having rice with her dinner.

Last night YougerChild wandered into the kitchen last as I was dishing up dinner, and she hungrily eyed the pot of wild rice as I set it back down on the stove.  She then picked up her plate with its tell-tale piece of aluminum and promptly exclaimed: "Curses!  Foiled again!"

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

Boot-y Call

Clothes make the man.  We’ve all heard it.  And seen it.  It’s true.  Who can resist a well-dressed man, nor a man in uniform.

Shoes, however, apparently make the woman.

But the woman’s shoes do not “make her” to “the observer”, but rather, shoes make the woman to *herself*.  The right shoes make a short woman tall.  A fat woman thin.  A tall woman short, a thin woman fat.  It works all ways.  Positive, and negative.

Put a short, overweight woman into sexy, strappy sandals and she is transformed into a Playboy bunny around 6-feet tall.  Put that playboy bunny into frumpy footwear and she feels short and obese next to that overweight counterpart.

So last winter my YoungerChild insisted upon wearing her too-thin fashion-boots every day, in the show and ice and freezing temperatures.  Nothing, but nothing, could get her into her winter-warm Sorels.  She came home with near-frostbite-frozen-toes. Daily.  Feet that had been soaked-thru-socks at recess and endured a second soggy-freezing at lunch break.  Still, she insisted each morning “I’ll be ok!” and “I’ll be warm enough”.

Getting her to don a scarf or hat was nearly as difficult.  I gave-up and let her freeze, hoping she’d cave-in to warmer clothing eventually.  But she didn’t.  She spent a very cold, wet winter.
Today I clued-in...  I have big feet.  My feet are average-size for length but they're WIDE; I have difficulty finding footwear that fits, much less that makes me feel “tall and pretty”.  Generally I opt for “it fits but I feel dumpy”.  Very rarely do I get to feel “tall and sexy”, due to what’s on my feet.  So suddenly I realised… YoungerChild does not prefer to be cold nor to have frost-bitten toes.  It’s that she doesn’t feel like a princess in the practical winter garments I have provided for her.  Favourite colours isn’t enough.  And having the same as her friends is also not enough.

I spent the day today shopping for favourite *styles* and favourite *patterns*.  … Instead of a toque, she now sports a knit beret.  The scarf is leopard-print with giant pink pom-poms.  The boots are NOT Sorels, but [expensive] FASHION winter boots (bought at a discount supplier, tho!) … and finally, she’s happy to wear *her* fashion.  Including “Non-Clunky” boots.

This winter my girl is heading out into the winter weather feeling as warm as my heart.